Roles in the Household

Household Chores as a Kid

Hey everyone, Michael here! When I look back on my childhood, I always like to think I was raised the right way. I was taught to do household chores, treat elders with respect, and be nice to others. I didn’t always like to do chores (I probably never liked to do them), but I have always felt that knowing how to do them properly would pay off in the long run. As soon as I was old enough to carry my laundry basket down the 3 flights of steps from my bedroom to the basement, I was doing my laundry. Mom came down to make sure I didn’t toss the entire bottle of soap in the washer, but I did the job of putting them in the washer, moving them to the dryer, and folding them.

Same thing with the dishes and cleaning my room. As soon as my mother determined I could help with those chores, it was added to my list. I am so thankful that she taught me how to be self-sufficient. 

The College Chores

Fast forward several years (more like 20 to be exact), when I was in graduate school and living with a friend of mine. All of those chores fell on my shoulders. My buddy wasn't going to do them for me, no matter how much rent money I paid him. Living on my own put the skills I had to good use, but it also forced me to develop new skills around the house. This included vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, and an overall duty of keeping the house clean and tidy. This was a task I was not very familiar with, but I had to get up to speed very quickly if I wanted to have clean dishes to cook with and a clean house to live in.

Household Roles

The Bible talks many times about roles in the household. Specifically, Proverbs 31:25-31, Ephesians 5:22-24, and Titus 2:4-5. These scriptures talk about the woman being the keeper of the household. Proverbs 31:27 says, “She looks well to the way of her household”. What this means is that she is a skilled keeper of the home. Putting that in real-life terms, it means she is the primary person who should do the cooking, cleaning, and the keeping of the house.

Why should I bear the Burden?

Emily and I go back and forth on this position of roles in the household all the time. She always feels like she should be able to do more and fulfill her role as keeper of the home. From my viewpoint, she already does plenty. She is the mother of 2 children who, on a good day, are a handful; she is pumping and nursing for our 8-month-old, which is basically a full-time job. She also runs a chiropractic office single-handedly 3 days a week, all while keeping her sanity. So why should I share this burden?

The Bible Tells Me To

Galatians 6:2 states, “Bear one another’s burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ”. This scripture means that I should carry some of the heavy load of doing household chores, even if it technically isn’t my role. She already does so much for this family that I have no problem picking up the kids' toys, doing the laundry, or washing the dishes. My mother raised me right to know how to do these things, but also to help people when they need it. The scripture also means that I am fulfilling the law of love by sharing the burden. This is why I have no problem blending the roles and sharing the burden of keeping the household.

How We Make it Work

My schedule makes it easy for me to do. I am home 1 day a week, which allows me to get these household chores knocked off the list. I can usually get a couple loads of laundry done, folded and put away, and get the dishwasher run. Any bottle or pump parts that need to be washed, I can get those done as well.  I also do other things throughout the week as needed. Additionally, I am usually the one to schedule appointments with the pediatrician or dentist, I can stop by and grab diapers on my way home from work, and I also do the night feeds while Emily is pumping. I put the boys to bed, except when MJ wants Mommy. 

Emily takes care of all the cooking, budgeting, and meal planning. On days she's home, she keeps the bathroom, kitchen, and living room cleaned.

All of these chores have been historically reserved for the women of the house to perform. In our family, all chores are everyone’s chores. This is how I was raised, and this is the way we are going to raise our boys. To be strong, independent, considerate, and respectful members of their community and society. We want the kids to be helpful husbands and hands-on dads. Teaching them how to do chores and help around the house is a great place to start that education.